Thanks for proposed raise, sir, but retirement is calling my name

Our local school superintendent announced an 8.5% minimum pay raise for the upcoming school year. My coworkers are super excited about their soon-to-be bigger paychecks. Yes, any raise is certainly appreciated, but the extra couple hundred bucks a month I’d receive isn’t going to convince me to stay – not by a long shot. The siren song of early retirement is much more compelling.