Tag: mental-health

Do you make yourself a priority?

November 15, 2024

The past few days have been ones of self-reflection. I had my annual physical last week. Blood work was fine, yet my cholesterol is still elevated (like last year). We chatted for a few minutes about increased caregiver responsibilities for my aging parents and hubby. My physician strongly cautioned about making myself a priority if I want to continue to be an active, healthy early retiree. Ouch!

He’s right, you know. I’ve made sure hubs has had what he’s needed for the past 5 years of his cancer journey. He’s currently stable (best possible outcome with his particular type of cancer) and well-matched in a volunteer opportunity that keeps him active and involved. We kept expenses in check during our gap period and my job navigating the maze to my official teacher retirement is done. At this point, I can focus on myself for a change.

Today, I had lunch with a good friend. We spent 2-1/2 hours catching up. It was good for my soul. He gave me an update on his brother, who is currently battling brain tumors and asked me for some tips on being a caregiver. I explained that the role changes over time. I shared that our journey has been one where I was more of a “nursing” caregiver after his surgery and recovery to more of a facilitator today.

My best caregiver advice:

  1. Don’t take anything the patient says personally. Mood swings are a reality. No-so-nice comments made by patients are generally directed at the current situation/circumstances – not at you. Remember this always: it’s not your fault.
  2. Abide by the patient’s wishes when it comes to the treatment plan – even if you disagree.
  3. Ask for help if you need it.
  4. Make yourself a priority. Keep up with your own medical check-ups. Eat right, drink water, get a good night’s sleep, take a walk, pray, meditate, read, journal, wear make-up and pretty, but comfortable clothes or whatever makes you feel good.
  5. Assemble a support group you can lean on when times get tough. I have two friends who went through something similar I can reach out to at anytime. They have kept me sane the past five years.
  6. Keep up with your own hobbies and interests as much as you can. It’s too easy to become isolated when you are in a high-maintenance caregiving stage. My friends check-in on me when it’s been radio silence on my end for an extended period of time. If you are unable to get out to be with friends, keep a small hand project nearby – knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, embroidery, EPP, calligraphy, adult coloring book, sketch book and pencils, etc. It does help.

This caregiver phase of life will eventually end. My husband and I tend to be rather pragmatic about things. We had some difficult conversations when he was first diagnosed. Quality of life, not quantity of life was his stated goal and I’m 100% onboard with this. Is it easy? Not by a long shot. We take it one day at a time and try to live our lives doing what makes us happy and fulfilled. Whatever happens, we have peace of mind knowing the other person will be okay afterwards. It will be hard, but life will go on.

So, if you are a caregiver of any sort, remember to make yourself a priority.

Ushering in a new season

October 6, 2024

This afternoon, several CAREing Paws folks (and their dogs) met at Red Top Brewery. It was such a nice time! I met some new therapy dog teams. Sadie met three new therapy dogs that belong to teams with whom we regularly visit. Many in our group have more than one therapy dog in the family. One dog at a time is certainly plenty for me!

Much to our collective surprise, the smaller city school district wants to move forward with the weekly school-based READ program. I’m really not sure of the timetable for the program to get up and running. There’s a lot that needs to happen, so a January 2025 start date would not surprise me.

We also learned a bit more about the CHOA monthly therapy dog program at Scottish Rite. No mask is required. There’s blood antibody titer test for those who can’t locate all their vaccine records. I told my friend I’d review the updated volunteer requirements this week. CHOA was one of my favorite places to visit with Boomer.

To make room for these new therapy dog visit opportunities, I’m going to have to let go of current activities. I’m okay with that. I’ll miss the people; however, these new visit opportunities will allow us to have more of an impact in areas that really matter to me.

There’s also a lot more going on behind the scenes – including a potential sewing teacher opportunity with a local maker studio that came my way last week – so I’m excited to see how everything turns out once the dust settles. I have a strong feeling that 4th quarter of 2024 is going to be one of change that lead to a very fulfilling 2025.

Sadie with a new and old friend

The “hard” therapy dog visits

September 18, 2024

The bulk of our visits are the feel-good type where everyone is smiling and happy. Then, there are those that are a bit uncomfortable at first, but end up being so worthwhile.

GEMA requested our therapy dog group deploy therapy dog teams to Winder to provide services after the shooting at Apalachee High School. The students, families and other community support organizations in Winder were so appreciative that the therapy dogs were there. We were stationed at the community resource center, schools and the courthouse.

The Georgia State Conference on Family Violence invited CAREing Paws teams to help attendees destress after some very involved conference sessions on difficult topics. At the conference, I learned of other organizations that would welcome our visits and connected with community representatives from my own part of the state.

Another type of hard visit is the one you worked to make happen that didn’t get off the ground. The invitation to visit was rescinded last minute. This happened multiple times in my former school district over the past year. No reason was ever given, of course. We thought the one school district was just a fluke. Then, it happened with a different district this week. Guess what? The two local school districts share the same outside law firm for legal work.

If we’re asked by GEMA to come provide therapeutic support after a school shooting and you invite us to attend your big reading event every year, please explain to me what the issue is with us coming into one of your elementary schools each week to have kids read to the dogs? The kids and staff will benefit. But never mind. You’ve had your chance (multiple, actually). I will not be doing any visits to my former school district or the small city school district. Period.end.of.story.

I’ll go where we’re wanted and appreciated.