Part of my recent self-reflection included reviewing my weight measurements from the past five years of doctor visits. I actually weigh the same today as I did when I retired 2-1/2 years ago. It is highly aggravating when certain pants won’t zip or some bras are a little tighter than usual. My body proportions have shifted due to menopause, not packing on the pounds. Time to show myself some grace.
Yes, I will feel much better when I lose those 15 pounds to weigh what I did pre-COVID (plus a few more), but this data dig has made me a lot more accepting of my current body shape. My plan is to invest in a few new pieces to dress the body I have and update my wardrobe when needed as we go along.
It’s taken about 10 days to adjust to my revised BP meds. I also updated my multivitamin and supplements as recommended. I feel better and my energy is back. The self-reflection, along with the tweaked meds, did my body good. I finally feel like myself again. It’s been a while.
Today was fun. Sadie and I stopped in to see Charlotte’s booth at the Smyrna Mini Handmade Market and took a leisurely stroll around the nearby lake. After dropping Sadie off at home, I braved I-75 on a Saturday and drove an hour north to see the Etowah Valley Quilt Guild’s biennial quilt show. It was a small show, but decorated very well with sewing themed vignettes and fall decor throughout the exhibit hall. There was a vendor mall offering vintage machines, handmade sewing accessories, quilt kits, FQ bundles and some sewing books. I picked up a weighted 7′ square tailor’s clapper made by a local woodworker for $20.00. This will be so handy when pressing blocks!
I took the backroads home to avoid traffic and stop by Kohl’s to look at jeans. I found one pair that fit me perfectly! That made an already great Saturday even more awesome!
The past few days have been ones of self-reflection. I had my annual physical last week. Blood work was fine, yet my cholesterol is still elevated (like last year). We chatted for a few minutes about increased caregiver responsibilities for my aging parents and hubby. My physician strongly cautioned about making myself a priority if I want to continue to be an active, healthy early retiree. Ouch!
He’s right, you know. I’ve made sure hubs has had what he’s needed for the past 5 years of his cancer journey. He’s currently stable (best possible outcome with his particular type of cancer) and well-matched in a volunteer opportunity that keeps him active and involved. We kept expenses in check during our gap period and my job navigating the maze to my official teacher retirement is done. At this point, I can focus on myself for a change.
Today, I had lunch with a good friend. We spent 2-1/2 hours catching up. It was good for my soul. He gave me an update on his brother, who is currently battling brain tumors and asked me for some tips on being a caregiver. I explained that the role changes over time. I shared that our journey has been one where I was more of a “nursing” caregiver after his surgery and recovery to more of a facilitator today.
My best caregiver advice:
Don’t take anything the patient says personally. Mood swings are a reality. No-so-nice comments made by patients are generally directed at the current situation/circumstances – not at you. Remember this always: it’s not your fault.
Abide by the patient’s wishes when it comes to the treatment plan – even if you disagree.
Ask for help if you need it.
Make yourself a priority. Keep up with your own medical check-ups. Eat right, drink water, get a good night’s sleep, take a walk, pray, meditate, read, journal, wear make-up and pretty, but comfortable clothes or whatever makes you feel good.
Assemble a support group you can lean on when times get tough. I have two friends who went through something similar I can reach out to at anytime. They have kept me sane the past five years.
Keep up with your own hobbies and interests as much as you can. It’s too easy to become isolated when you are in a high-maintenance caregiving stage. My friends check-in on me when it’s been radio silence on my end for an extended period of time. If you are unable to get out to be with friends, keep a small hand project nearby – knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, embroidery, EPP, calligraphy, adult coloring book, sketch book and pencils, etc. It does help.
This caregiver phase of life will eventually end. My husband and I tend to be rather pragmatic about things. We had some difficult conversations when he was first diagnosed. Quality of life, not quantity of life was his stated goal and I’m 100% onboard with this. Is it easy? Not by a long shot. We take it one day at a time and try to live our lives doing what makes us happy and fulfilled. Whatever happens, we have peace of mind knowing the other person will be okay afterwards. It will be hard, but life will go on.
So, if you are a caregiver of any sort, remember to make yourself a priority.
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